Most days I’m a loud, bubbly, giggly, happy person. I’m the kind of person who often feels she’s speaking at a normal decibel and someone taps you and says, “Um, you’re yelling.” I’m always the one who’s voice carries louder than anyone else’s. (Face palm) It’s just who I am. It’s just part of my personality.
But I’m very aware of it. And I know most people find it super overwhelming. So I’m typically very careful about rolling it out to people. I want to make sure they are ready for me to take my personality to the next level before I let them see the whole real me.
Once in high school, an athletic trainer asked, “What happened to the quiet girl who used to come in here!?” Fair question, but she was gone since she never really exist in the first place. 🙂
When I First Realized How Detrimental My Personality Could Be
It was my senior year of college when I first realized how detrimental my personality could be. I had applied for a job as a news producer and the hiring manager had called one of my references, my on-campus boss.
He said, “The executive producer wanted to know the weirdest thing about you. He asked what it was like working with someone who was so outgoing.” He shared it really kind of stopped him in his tracks because he wasn’t quite sure what the hiring manager was alluding – until it it him.
“So, I told him the truth – you’re a hard worker. You know when to get down to business and I’ve never been disappointed with your performance. I can always count on you. Your outgoing personality is an asset.”
While I was sort of glowing from the fabulous review, I was also kind of deflated anyone would take pause in hiring me because of my personality.
My Bubbly Personality Strikes Again
Later in my career, working at a different T.V. station, an executive producer told me I had a cheerleader personality (um, rude and incorrect. I’ve never been a cheerleader). One of my colleagues used to call into the newsroom and ask for “Bubbles” and the overall underlying sentiment by many people (definitely not all) was that I wasn’t a serious person.
It really bothered me people basically viewed me as a Valley Girl. Fortunately, I had a chance to show them what I was truly made of. I pulled off newscasts many had failed and I also went on to win an Emmy. (Suck it, naysayers!)
Even recently, when I tried my hand at a podcast, a dear friend told me not to hold back my personality because it was truly an asset to the podcast.
I felt sort of sad I was still, after all these years, trying to beat down who I really am because I was worried someone else wouldn’t like it.
So, I’m working on my confidence level because deep down, I know I’m a good person. I love hard, work hard and have more blessings than I can count and I’m grateful for all of them. I want my daughters to always be who they are because they’re magnificent and it would crush my heart into a million pieces if they ever felt for one second the way I often feel. It’s my job to raise them to be strong, confident women!