A Queen's Reign,  Blog

Hey Girl, You Matter and You’re Making a Difference

I’ve wanted to make an impact on the world for as long as I can remember. My desire to make a difference was the driving factor behind my children’s book Caroline Girls. But I’ve also been concerned with how much what I do matters to anyone else outside of my immediate circle.

This big world can make me feel so small and I want to make a big impact. Like an Oprah or Ellen DeGeneres level impact. But with two young kids and various commitments, often I just feel like I’m running around like a crazy lady with no real end game in sight.

Everything I’m involved with really matters to me and I know it’s making a difference to someone, but I’m just not feeling the impact. Selfish, right? I might be making an impact, but if I don’t know it, then it doesn’t count.

Blame my insecurity, my anxiety, or self-esteem issues, but I truly can’t bear the idea I’m not doing enough. What is enough anyway? For me, it’s an unattainable goal I’ll never meet. It’s this idea of what a perfect version of myself would be. I’d be prettier, skinnier, with airbrushed looking skin, no cellulite, I wouldn’t sweat like a man (my biggest, most disgusting, most embarrassing physical quality), my hair would always be perfectly smooth … I could go on for days.

It feels if I was the absolute best version of myself, stretching far beyond my current limits, I could truly be in a position to make a difference. Like Oprah or Ellen. 🙂

I Am Making A Difference!

But recently, it’s been brought to my attention what I do matters. I am making a difference. A friend shared I’m a presence in this community. She told me she knew about me before she even met me and was excited to finally get to know me. I was absolutely floored. I couldn’t believe it. (Frankly, I still can’t! It seems so crazy!) Then today at the gym, a woman said hi to me and shared she had reached a personal goal of hers at the gym today. I gave her a genuine smile and congratulations. What she said next really shook me. “I’ve seen you at the gym a lot. You’re always talking to someone new. And I just thought, ‘she’s really nice and I’d like to talk to her sometime.'”


This woman has seen me just doing my thing and it mattered to her. It mattered so much she wanted to share an exciting new accomplishment with ME. What an honor!!

I’m so guilty of getting caught up in my own world (it’s why you’ll find me singing and dancing in my car like I’m on stage because I forget people can see me) and it’s not always easy to see how you’re impacting people, but I’m here to tell you … I see you, girl. You matter and you’re making a difference.

The next time you feel down on yourself, come talk to me. Guaranteed I can tell you: you’re making a difference. It’s not by being a perfect version of yourself. It’s not because you’ve been knocked down more times than you’d like to count or have failed at goals you’ve set. You’ve handled the hand you’ve been dealt, you’ve gotten back up again and you’ve continued to strive to meet your goals.

You are making a difference by just being you. You’ve got this girl. I believe in you!